Saturday, November 19, 2011


One of my in-laws wrote a very funny poem satirizing the Republican presidential candidates.  I found it very funny and thought I should share it here.

'Twas the month before Christmas and who should appear
It was Drunken Rick Perry to give Christians cheer.
He prayed and he joked and then he got serious
"I'm all for the killing." The crowd went delirious.
Herman Cain came on next with his big booming voice.
"Where's all the white women? I'll give them their choice."
"I'll find them a job if they do as I say."
"Just give me a b-job and get out of my way."
Who could ever forget Bachman's shrill screech
"It is me. It is I and I'm going to preach."
"I know all the right things; I know what to do."
"For I'm the only American who's tried, tested and true."
 I will remember Mit Romney as he strolled through the fray
"Just listen to me. I've come to save the day."
"I'll flip and I'll flop with such cunning and dare,
You won't even notice my Holy Underwear."
Ron Paul shook his head with disdain and disgust
"Just look at them all. There's not one you can Trust."
"We must destroy the whole system, go back to the start."
"Adhere to the original and our forefather's first fart."
Newt couldn't be there but he sent all his best.
His wife was in the hospital and he was hitting on guests.
She wasn't quite gone but he was thinking ahead
"Who next should I have in my home, in my bed?"
Then out on the lawn there occurred such a clatter
Ann Coulter was screaming "My new book! It's a Tattler."
"Death to all who doubt me or fall from my grace."
That brought a big smile to old Rick Perry's face.
Rush Linbaugh was reporting with his usual pout
But he got very lost when drugs began to run out.
John Bonher was there but had little to say.
Repeating "Yes that's my name but don't pronounce it that way."
Eric Cantor showed up but he only walked through
He heard it was for Christians but he was a Jew.
He went to the Tea Party. He thought it would be nicer.
Their motto: "Believe what we say or step into the slicer."
Only Christians were there like Condolica and George,
Dick Chenney, Don Rumsfeld, the Republican hoards.
When only the good people, you know who we mean,
the money people who support and are not seen.
They closed the doors and they started to sing
About all of the wonders of Christ their great King.
They brought forth the picture of the Christ they had known
It was Ronald Reagan with a crown on a thrown.

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